Sunday, 21 November 2010

UGH. Everytime I feel like putting makeup on and going out, I remember I'm a completely SHIT sixteen year old with 'school' in the morning. IT'S MY FUCKING MORNING. SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE THE F'ING RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT I DO?!
'Into the Wild' Don't know if it's a good film or not, but the story is very close to me. It's the sort of thing I'd do with my life if I had the courage.
I want to be forever young.

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

my teenage aspirations have been completed just like that, in the space of two days.

I feel no different, it's not a weight-off-your-shoulders type of thing, You're just a bit more, easygoing. I don't really have to worry about how depressing, angsty and incomplete my life is, because I'm sort of over it.

my idea of a boyfriend is someone who is willing to suffer me blaring music listening to amazing bands then suddenly switching to some sort of gravely american country singer, who I can go without even speaking to for two days and doesn't have some kind of freak out if I do, who won't mind when I insist on taking photos of everything, who likes to eat straightforward uncomplicated food, he doesn't mind every time I make fun of him, who won't mind when I say no to tv and yes to partay-aaay,who doesn't mind that I'm a lazy shit, who'd rather take me on holiday up north than freaking ibiza, ew. And most importantly, who doesn't mind when I say fuck off to their marriage proposal.


Monday, 18 October 2010

is it possible that I am only interested in people, that's my passion? That's the one thing I find most fascinating. I don't like art, I like portraiture. I don't like makeup, I like faces, I don't like music, I like voices.

photos from what's on your mind?

asking how school was, was like asking how that drive by shooting was. I was lucky to get out alive, I didn't care how it was.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

I just want to fucking feel something again.
I hate ripped tights, but only have one pair of fishnets left and they have a huge hole in them. So I got creative and started ripping away. I'm starting to quite like it.
what matters the most to me in the present.

-get dressed how I want
-put makeup on how I want
-read a book that doesn't feel like a book
-Be listening to music most of the day
-laugh until I cry with my best friends
-being able to feel like I'm myself

I don't believe in responsibility, my only form of responsibility is to myself, don't look at me like that I'm a selfish being, and so are you. So what's the problem?
what if a girl wrote frisky? Hm what then?

Thursday, 14 October 2010

I can wear Dr.Martens and fishnets all I want, but unless I'm thin. It just won't work. I'm really starting to like grunge. I'm working my way to 'all black errthang.' ha.

some girls need to wake up and get over themselves.

Boys are not romantic.

Men can be when they feel like it.

Males are there to use at your will, right now, being my sixteen year old self, I could do with a twenty four year old, quirky, beautiful (no exceptions) guy I can have a piece of whenever I feel like it. Two days without a phonecall? See if I care.
Just listened to a little bit from swan lake, ahh.
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Tattoo possibility number three.
I'll admit that staying at school right until your eighteen is the right thing for some people, but today's society puts everyone into the box, and that's not my box. Mine's more like a sort of messy, ripped, drawn on box. In fact I don't think it can really be called a box at all, I'm a little piece of everything. I just feel like it's time to go, live on my own, laze about. Have the freedom to live comfortable, work just enough. And do whatever the hell I want.

Do you ever get that really excited feeling where you realise you've got decades of life left to go?
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Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Back when my hair was nice.
ugh my face.
But I feel like I want a photo of me on here.

it's one of those songs, where I don't play a story along with it in my head. It's pure soundtrack. All I have to do is listen, and forget about everything, just think of the sound, the feeling it creates. Just that one song, just those three short minutes.

Heroes, David Bowie.
sky ferreira, I like her because she isn't super skinny like so many people with good style. and I like the hair! I'm into that sort of eye makeup right now too.
don't laugh, but I think I'm 'orally fixated'. Like when children are teething except, in adulthood haha. I always need to be eating someone or chewing, I've tried supplementing with a drink. I also bite the skin around my nails alot (ew I know) but I can't help it. It's like there always has to be something happening. I need to be eating or drinking or anything. Right now it's not much of a problem but I'm going to try and stay away from cigarettes, I think if I discovered them I might end up using that as a substitute.

anyway, had to talk about it. x

this is my dog monty. he's actually quite mean, sort of demon dog type. But he's actually really cute when he sleeps, so say hello.

I'm a self-confessed Taylor Swift admirer, she obviously knows her target market.


Too cheesy for ya?

Okay so clothing is my only forte. I'm just good at putting things together, I hate my outfit today though, which is an unusal feeling to be honest. I can live with awful hair+makeup, but clothes! never!

I'm actually considering changing.

I changed.

Monday, 11 October 2010


I'd like to say though, I don't condone the wearing of fur or purchasing fur in the modern day world, because it is uneccessary. The coat I bought is vintage, i.e. I DID NOT BUY IT FIRST. None of the money I have spent goes to the company that originally made it. I don't even know if it's real to be honest.
-I shun any cosmetics that do animal testing.
-I try not to buy real leather, I have accidentally in the past but I'm not just going to through it out.yeah.
-Fur is the next step for me, so I will not buy fur!



today I bought a vintage furry coat from a shop in Glasgow, it was much like any other average vintage shop so I won't go into details about it. The one I got is brown (you'll see it). To be honest I don't know if its real fur or not, but the fact that someone else bought it before me means even it was, it's not me that's endorsing the wearing of fur. I'm not going to let the possible little animal die in vain am I?

I don't think it's that old to be honest with you, but it'll be my oldest possession, along with my mother's spotty bikini from the 90's. It's also my first ever vintage purchase which I'm quite proud of hehe.

There were too ugly faced males standing outside disney-ified Hollister today. Part of my is seething with envy, and the other is glad to be the girl that will be offered a job in hollister in six years time when I'm much sexier, which will be turned down promptly.


Sunday, 10 October 2010

one of the most beautiful places in the world don't you think?
Don't you just life was like those dreamy scenes in films of two people running around in some overgrown field, hair down, flowing clothes, slow echoey piano in the background, sunlight half blinding you. No, just me?


A few things.

1. Black is the most fashionable colour, take a look at Parisians.

2. I need to compile a list of my favourite films..
-Marie Antoinette
-Ever After
-Coco before Chanel
-500 Days of summer
-Edward Scissorhands
-Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
-Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
-Starwars etc
-Donnie Darko
-Oh brother where art thou

I've probably forgot a gazillion trillion important other ones.

my biggest regret is never continuing ballet, I did it for nine years, I own unused pointes, they're one of my most important possessions.

photos are better than words.

I'm doing a corsetry class, no biggy. Anyhoo I really want to do a sort of marie antoinette style one, 17th/18th century? There's a risk I'll end up with the boobs on a plate look though? Oh well, I'll decide at some point.

I'd like it if people still dressed like this, I get the whole liberating women from corsets and impractical dresses and crinolines, to be honest I'd prefer it, leave more to the imagination.

Anyway I just liked this photo. See ya.

When brown eyes ruled the world?


I like grey areas today, so I'm going to be all vague and muddled up. Anyway I don't really have much to say to be honest, I'm sort of plodding (good word) along awkwardly right now, I'll get school overwith then I'll feel less pointless. Even saying school makes me feel childish, ugh.

I really want a pair of Dr.Martens, but then I might be one of those "I'm not going to conform to those preppy idiots, oh look some alternative idiots! Better go join in with that crowd instead then I'll be cool and orgininal!..Just like everyone else right?" Thanks Joss for that accurate description.

I need an official brand name that's me, the name I'll write, design, sing and act under. I think Susie would be nice.

Too much.
Susei. ha.

Soozie Durnan
Soozie Dee
Sooxie D
That was a typo
Soozie Di.

Whatever. Kisses.

Monday, 27 September 2010

say hi.

a photo where I look like kstew. not bad not good, like everything else, average information that neither makes me happy nor makes me sad. bleh.


"people who are sad need music to structure their sorrow"-Susanna Kaysen.